EXXXTÓRIAXX OF LITTLE BADU ZÉ JULINHO (EXXXTÓRIAXXX DO BADUZINHO ZÉ JULINHO)

7 – Truthful – Mechanical Banana (7 – Verídica -Mechanical Banana)

In the early 1970s, the Netherlands played an appositional football full of stars led by Rinus Michels who launched the G – 3 – 5 – 2, going down in history, as the Clockwork Orange or Dutch Carousel, just as Vicente Feola planted the flag in the future, the first Brazilian world champion, in 1958, with Zagallo (player,  left winger who retreated to help the midfield – Zito and Didi – and the full-back – Nilton Santos) barring the excellent offensive and goalscoring left winger, Canhão da Vila, Pepe. And twice with Aymoré Moreira in charge, in 1962, with the same scheme.

Later, in 70, with Zagallo as Coach and innovator, therefore before the Clockwork Orange, he had already played a relatively appositional football, filled with left legs, snakes, which in the teams performed a similar function, played in the same position (Rivelino, Gerson, Tostão, in addition to Everaldo), and the number 10 Pelé and Clodoaldo. The colour of the Dutch uniform (pumpkin colour) drew attention, and the team looked like a machine, or a carousel, it didn’t stop running, hence Clockwork Orange or Dutch Carousel. Even with all the success, that team did not win the World Championships it played, nor was it ever Champion, coming close to the Runner-Up 3 times 74 (defeated by West Germany), in 78 (defeat to Argentina) and in 2010 (to Spain).

Inspired by that Dutch Orange, the young people from the Cocotá neighbourhood, on Ilha do Governador, from the Cocotá Sports Club, who played field and indoor soccer, after completing their respective colleges, were motivated to create an indoor team that would play on the court of their club, on Mondays, a day when the club did not open and everyone had availability.

They managed to get the release of President Seo Toninho (Antonio de Almeida Santos, godfather with Dona Eloá of Baduzinho, the best president with whom he worked). They thought of the yellow shirt, gold colour and the quality of the players, they nicknamed Banana Mechanic. It was part of the group that created the team the Club Porter, Arlindo, Friend of all, very funny like almost all the cute ones. As he was fat, nicknamed the Well Stopper (Rolha de Poço), or even Agulha (needle for sewing circus canvas). At the entrance, he messed with the garbage men who passed by hanging from the truck (the circus arrived!!!) or with those who delivered sugar (bees!!).

Those mornings were pandegas (jokes – funnies), he had to be at the door, checking the cards, like a “hostess”, but in his spare moments he messed with others and received the mockery too: those from the garbage when his truck made the turn before the club, at Cleto Campelo Street, in front of Gaivota, began to sing a song: rorrorrorrorrorro (cococococococo) and when they passed in front of Arlindo,  that he was still trying to hide – but as with almost 200 kilos – they completed – rolha de poço – cork!!!!!!) and they received it back: the circus has arrived!!!. “The bees”, in the same way, started before the curve: aaaaa (neeneeneenee)nd in front of the club they completed, aguuuuuuuulhhhha (neddle)!! And they received the affection back: beeeee! Everyone had fun. Other times! Today’s ones are a little boring, with a lot of mimimi (whining).

Agulha took the reins, he had more time than the youngsters, already working and began to think about the all-yellow gold uniform, a raffle to buy the material, contacts for the release of the court, because Cocotá did not open on Mondays.

All had already played Indoor Soccer (later Futsal) at the Club, but Cocotá still did not compete in competitions (only later did so), because everyone was enrolled and played on the Field, in the D.A. The Coach was Dacica, a little older, a figure, he knew everyone, commanded with affection, to the point that sometimes one or another player turned to him on the bench and shouted:  Dacica, take a break and give us a kick because we are playing nothing. He did it his way and the team came back better. As in Brazil everyone is a football coach, we were too!

We played great games with teams from the Island (the Yacht Club Jardim Guanabara of Zé Moraes and Family was feared in the Hall, in the Society and in the Field), they were great clashes remembered to this day, friendly matches that strengthened the friendship of all definitively, and teams from abroad too, even clubs from the main division. We took some stumps.

It was known that Banana would bring back that fraternal environment that every team needed to have with the experiences previously acquired.

Everything was going well, but the raffle did not reach the intended value (there was no Superball or Seo Natal as in the Lusitânia do Baduzinho in Madureira), the day of the debut game scheduled by our Coach Agulha (Neddle) against the team where he played younger, still thinner, Maria da Graça, his friends, good people and a timaço (great team),  according to his information.

On the day the club didn’t usually open, the fans filled the gymnasium under construction, ours and theirs. Everyone in the locker room worried about not having a uniform to play, each one brought only their sneakers and support, some brought socks.

Baduzinho and Paulinho called President Seo Toninho, told him the problem and received the yes to call the person in charge of the warehouse and give him an old used uniform (shirts, shorts and socks). The shirts could not be striped, although black and white, because the opponent’s uniform, we knew, was blue and white vertical stripes, blue shorts and striped socks lying white and blue. There were some shirts left that were once white, but they were so used, dirty, it was more like the colour of these Havaianas sandals, “the grimy ones”, the shorts that were black were more like white, also dirty, and the socks varied like those of a football team, some black (almost white, others white almost black and others striped – almost one colour).

We made our chain of union (one hand gives – the other receives so as not to break the energy), victory and we set off in single file, Paulinho Tiribiça, the Captain in front. A friendly Polish Runner (corredor polonês) was prepared by the opponents to welcome us: we passed among those players perfectly uniformed, lined up and starched, everything new, snapping again, we thanked and felt the smile at the corner of the mouth of the polite opponents, Amigos de Amigo, but they could not fail to notice the drool in uniform that Banana wore (which looked more like when the banana is already rotten).

Let’s go to the game that is what matters: motivated by adversity, by the challenge, by the look of disdain with which we were received, in the name of Friendship and the future of Banana Mechanic we set out with everything, as if it were the final and decisive game of the championship. 24 x 0. What about the game? What to comment on if it’s been so long and a result like this?

In the end we embrace our adversaries, never enemies and life goes on. It seems their team ended there. the “Mechanical Banana” remained firm, undefeated, invincible!

The purchase of the new uniforms was rushed, the team with morale with the president, the directors and fans, the house was as full as few times in recent years and, every week, more people were overcrowding the premises of the Gymnasium still in the final stages of construction, the finishing.

Everyone wanted to take a cone out of that banana, they even thought about charging quotas (someone who thought about money one day spoke at the meeting), but it wasn’t our style, we just wanted to play and make our Friends happy, life is short, even more so for some.

They won the second, the third, the fourth… Each team better than the other, some beaten easily (24 never again), others in balanced games and others a few timaços (big teams), even teams formed by players from the big clubs challenged us, but they didn’t officially come for the clubs, they came as a group, a team, not a Club.

 On a beautiful day, in the middle of Banana’s existence, came a team that we had already faced at the time of Cocotá Salão (Saloon), years ago, neighbours from Moravia Street that were reinforced by Marines who played a lot and were very strong physically, they had the set of many years – football is a set. Full team, full house, balance, Baduzinho does not remember well the sequence of ‘score’, but near the end of the game, despite all the effort, for the first time the team behind in the result with about 5 minutes left, 4 x 5, all tired, Baduzinho exhausted, asked Coach Agulha to replace him, surprised the Coach put a good offensive reserve. Baduzinho left through the middle of the court in the direction of the work that was being done to complete the gymnasium, still with rafters and deep down he vomited almost to his soul, but this one stayed, came back and said to Agulha, you can put me in. Cork put in place of another other than the one who replaced him, a more offensive team, all or nothing, there were about 2 minutes left: goal by Julinho Baduzinho, 5 x 5. Maintaining their invincibility, they made their hearts go out of their guts. Not yet beaten!

And so, it was for almost 2 years, practically 104 weeks (2 years, discounting a few days off), because the fans did not leave space. Banana Mechanic ended up undefeated, made a name for himself in the Club and even on the Island, but the former young people had to follow their careers: Lawyers, Economists, Chemical Engineers, Engineers, Coaches, Administrators and many others, and it was no longer possible to play on Mondays.

Good time!

Prayers to the Heavens to those who left to become Stars before the others.

CAST: Fio, Fanal, Marco Aurelio, Arnaldo Paraíba, Bolãozinho, Jairo, Gil, Marco Aurélio (Bolãozinho’s brother), Paulinho, Bolão and Julinho Badu.

COACH: Arlindo Agulha (Neddle).

P.S. – Exxxtóriaxxx because in spoken Portuguese in Rio de Janeiro the ‘s’ sounds like ‘sh’, pure charm!

P.S. 2 – Happy Birthday Cousin Pat. Be happy!

P.S. 3 – Happy Birthday Niece Maria Clara! Be happy!

P.S. 4 – Today is the day to beat Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus Christ for 30 pieces of silver.

By Jucele

Julio Leal

Baduzinho

Zé

Under-20 World Champion Coach in Australia in 1993

April 4th, 2026